We once discussed, for your enjoyment, what your job would be should you find yourself in the Star Wars universe. But what if Star Wars characters found their way to the real world, what employment would they most likely fall into?
(Of course, this ignores the fact that they don’t have identification, can only supposedly speak English, and endless other fact.)
Should Luke find himself on Earth during his farmboy days, there’s no reason he would cease that venture. He’s clearly a skilled mechanic, able to pilot things far more complicated than a tractor, and is used to the work and sun a farmer has to get used to. If he found himself after he became a Jedi, then he would likely find himself working with CERN researchers to find a way back to his own universe.
Leia Organa, as an experienced stateswoman, would probably end up in the orator business or the working for the government. Wishing to keep her status as a literal alien unknown, she would refuse anything more than a desk job.
Han Solo, never the person that fits in to normal culture, will like Luke continue his space-career on land. Or, on the seas! One of the galaxy’s greatest smugglers might not be able to make the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs anymore, but smuggling is just as prevalent on Earth.
Boba Fett, who would immediately find out he’s way more popular in the real world than he should be, having far fewer bounty targets, plus technology that would make him public enemy number one for physicists, takes a different approach and travels the convention circuit with his sweet Mandalorian armor. Fans the world over are wowed.
Though elderly, Emperor Palpatine still has a few tricks in him. His status as a Sith Lord in jeopardy, thanks to a higher level of skepticism found in the real world, eventually finds himself part of the freakshow in a small Bavarian circus as “Das erstaunliche Elektro.” This does not please him, leading to an eventual manhunt of someone the news stations dub “Der Zirkus Mörder.”
Darth Vader will find himself inexplicably in charge of Russia. The cooler weather works perfectly with his hot armor.
The real world will be a dangerous place for our favorite characters, but we hope you’ve enjoyed this special “what if” nonetheless. Come back soon for more fun fan info!
The esteemed Mandalorian Mercs, a group dedicated to incredible re-creations of Mandalorian suits of armor, have been our advertising partners going on two years running. Their fantastic costumes have inspired us to tell you a condensed history of the proud Mando’ade people.
Since their earliest years, the Mandalorian culture was battle-obsessed and warlike. They began as the near-human species known as the Taung. Intense fighting between them and the humans on Coruscant, led by the warlord known as Mandalore the First. They conquered planets and began a civilization, taking the name of their leader (Mandalore also became the title of the Mandalorian leader, up to and beyond Palpatine’s Empire).
After thousands of years of conquest, the Great Sith War began, and the Mandalorians were defeated in battle – and swore fealty to – Jedi-turned-Sith Lord Ulic Qel-Droma, but they and the Sith were defeated. After twenty years of peace, and the Mandalorians began rebuilding under a new leader, alien warriors were recruited into the clan system, and a more uniform armor system – as opposed to custom-made individual armors – was implemented. A period of aggressive expansion followed, as the Republic was wary of entering another war and did not interfere. In 3964 BBY, the Mandalorians struck the Republic in the first offensive of what would later be known as the Mandalorian Wars. The wars lasted until 3960, when the current Mandalore, backed by his lieutenant Cassus Fett, were defeated over Malachor V.
Revan, the Jedi General that led the defeat of the Mandalorians, destroyed their armor and weapons, and took the ceremonial mask used to declare a new leader, leaving the Mandalorians splintered and directionless. Many Mandalorians took to pirating, mercenary work, and becoming gladiators. In the year 3661, the Sith made an unexpected return to the galaxy and again asked the Mandalorians for help. However, the Mandalorians, once more led by a Mandalore named Canderous Ordo (a character from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic), refused. The Sith then found a Mandalorian warrior willing to work with them and built him up as the new leader. He became the new leader when the title was thrust upon him, and brough the Mandalorians into the war. They were again defeated, but remained an ally of the Sith until the New Sith Wars, until the stage was set for a war between the Mandalorians and the Sith.
In 738 BBY, a new brand of Mandalorian arose: the peaceful. Calling themselves . . . well, the New Mandalorians, they pushed for peace, tolerance, and neutrality. They utilized their talents of inventing and building, growing in power and eventually forcing the more war-like factions to leave the planet of Mandalore, and relocate to the moon of Concordia. While a large number of clans eventually adopted the peaceful ways of the New Mandalorians, some did not. In 60 BBY, Jaster Mereel became Mandalore and brought about more changes after a century and a half of butchery. He was opposed by Tor Vizsla, who desired a return to the warring ways of yore.
This led to the Mandalorian civil war between the New Mandalorians and the Death Watch, a faction familiar to anyone who’s seen the animated Star Wars: Clone Wars television series. For years the battle raged. During the war, Mereel befriended an orphan named Jango Fett, whose parents were killed in a firefight. Fett became a leader and warrior for the True Mandalorians, and after a battle in 44 BBY the Death Watch was left crippled. However, Vizsla was able to trick the Jedi into attacking Fett and capturing him, but Fett escaped and slayed Vizsla, ending the war. Fett would grow to become the bounty hunter that we see in Episode II. He would form the base of the Republic’s grand clone army.
The Mandalorian civil war simmered during the Clone Wars, re-emerging as Pre Vizsla led the Death Watch, but they were again defeated. Shortly after, the Galactic Civil War culminated in the destruction of the republic and new Imperial leadership under Palpatine, followed swiftly by an attempt by the Empire to weaken the Mandalorians, which proved mildly successful, but the Mandalorians – helped by Leia Organa – eventually pushed the Empire out, shortly before the destruction of the second Death Star.
Due to Disney and Lucasart’s restructuring of what is and isn’t canon, we’ll end the story there – since relating the rest of the EU as it applies to the Mandalorians would take hundreds of pages. We’ll end with the prophesied end of the Mandalorians:
In approximately 3951 BBY, the former Jedi Kreia, also once a Sith Lord, user her Force insight to see the end of the Mandalorians. Eventually, she foresaw, the Mandalorians would become weak, experiencing a decline over thousands of years, untila single man in Mandalorian armor remained. He, Kreia prophesied, would meet his end at the hands of a Jedi, ending the Mandalorian people with him.
Thanks for reading! We hope you’ve enjoyed this short look at the Mandalorians. Be sure to check out the Mandalorian Mercs, and come back soon for more fun information!
Podracing – one of the galaxies most dangerous and difficult sports – has for itself a number of high-profile figures, such as goofy Ben Quadinaros, the long-limbed Gasgano, and the journalistic Clegg Holdfast. But none was greater, or more famous, than the Dug Subulba. Today we’ll be looking at the storied life of this ill-tempered little racer, up to and past the Boonta Eve Classic.
Born in the city of Pixelito on the planet of Malastare, Sebulba was a mean-spirited and angry creature, like many Dugs. Born a slave, he eventually bought his freedom after exhibiting his incredible podracing skills. Quickly becoming the star of the podracing circuit thanks to his ability to use all four limbs with fine motor control, he built his own podracer and dominated the races using destructive tactics — frequently injuring or killing other racers — but was never punished.
Now living a decadent and expensive lifestyle, Sebulba became involved in slave-trading rings, and owned a number of Twi-lek slaves himself. During races, Sebulba was dedicated to winning at any cost; cheating was a common and intended action. Sabotaging rival podracers, pressing them into on-track obstacles, and modifying his own podracer to include dangerous weaponry were all standard tactics.
Sebulba was a constant favorite to win any race he was a part of, but his luck would temporarily change during the Boonta Eve Classic, the single race that future Jedi and Sith Anakin Skywalker would participate in. Sebulba roared to an early lead but Skywalker caught up to him in the end, disabling his engines (destroying both sides in the process) and leaving Sebulba sitting in the middle of the course in his small cockpit.
While the loss was a blow to Sebulba’s fierce pride, he recovered quickly. After purchasing Anakin’s podracer and rejoining the circuit the next year, Sebulba began again his reign of podracing terror. After a while, Sebulba retired and allowed his son Hekula to fly his podracer. Hekula raced in the Boonta Eve Classic, six years after his father lost to Skywalker . . . and also lost to Skywalker. Hekula crashed his podracer, being a rookie, and Sebulba emerged from retirement, forbidding Hekula from racing again.
Sebulba would again challenge Skywalker to a race using his new Plug-F Gargantuan, a remake of his original racer. The result of this race is unknown. Sebulba’s grandson, Pugwis, continues to tradition of racing, and thankfully is more talented than his father, taking after his grandfather instead.
Behind the scenes
Sebulba is an entirely CGI character, played by voice actor Lewis MacLeod (a frequent Star Wars voice actor). A dug can be seen in Episode II, during the air speeder chase, and it was thought it was Sebulba, but is in fact a character named Seboca. Sebulba is a playable character in the video games Star Wars: Episode I Racer and the game’s sequel Star Wars: Racer Revenge.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this short history of the galaxy’s greatest and meanest podracer; come back soon for more fun fan and costume information!
From May 15th to June 14th, at Walt Disney World Resort in California, the Star Wars Weekends will take place. Friday through Sunday on these dates, guests can attend special events for Star Wars fans, meet with original cast members of the original trilogy, prequels, and more, find costumed characters around the theme park, and even see characters such as Mickey, Minnie, and Donald wearing special Star Wars outfits. This year, we know of Amy Allen (Aayla Secura), Tiya Sircar (Sabine Wren), Ray Park (Darth Maul), Frank Oz (Yoda’s voice), Ian McDarmid (Emperor Palpatine), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), Vanessa Marshall (Hera Syndulla), Ashley Eckstein (Ahsoka Tano), Warwick Davis (Wicket the Ewok and others), and more.
There’s no amount of fun a Star Wars fan is able to have when attending these events. Let’s take a look at everything that can happen:
“The Jedi Training Academy” is a live show based on the teachings and practices of the Jedi knights. The show is heavily audience participation, and focuses on the children in the audience. Each participant is given a lightsaber and Jedi robes and is taught swordfighting techniques. There are also frequent parades that feature the 501st legion – a famous fan group – as well as costumed version of a large number of characters.
“Snig and Oopla’s Hyperspace Hoopla” is a dance-themed stage show featuring the Star Wars characters competing in groups against each other. In the 2013 show, Emperor Palpatine hijacked the show, renaming it “Emperor Palpatine’s Hyperspace Hoopla,” which of course led to a massive dance-off. The show was retired after the 2014 weekends.
Symphony in the Stars is a large-scale fireworks display set to Star Wars music, as well as voice and sound clips. Beyond the Force is a live hosted by Ashley Eckstein that details the creation and development of The Clone Wars television show. “Obi-Wan and Beyond” is a live 30-minute talk show hosted by James Arnold Taylor, a voice-over actor famous for replicating stars’ voices in animated movies, television shows, and video games. “Carbon Freeze Me” is an interactive attraction where guests are able to scan their faces and reproduce them in carbonite, which are then available for purchase.
There’s plenty more to do, including a “Padawan Mind Challenge,” and a celebrity motorcade. Any fan of Star Wars is sure to enjoy this time! Thanks for reading, be sure to come back soon for more fan information!