The American Football season is in full swing now, and the Star Wars football championship is about to begin. The entire gang has put aside their differences to gather on the gridiron and have some fun. But who’s playing which position, and which team will win?
Lightsabers, weapons, and vehicles (with some personal exceptions) are forbidden, as is manipulation through the force of anything. Standard NFL rules apply. For those of you who may not be familiar with American football, we’ll include descriptions of positions’ duties.
Calling the shots for the light side at the Quarterback (responsible for starting the play, and usually either throws it to a receiver or hands it to a running back) position will be Obi-Wan Kenobi, from Episode III. A calm head, good physical abilities, and a commanding attitude make this Jedi perfectly suited for QB.
Wide receivers will be Luke Skywalker and Commander Cody from the Clone Wars. Luke is highly intuitive, and Cody, due to his parentage, has superior athletic abilities. At tight end (Acts as both a blocker for the QB and a receiver) will be none other than Chewbacca. Bulky enough for blocking and with the right size for catching passes; this breakout star will be on the dark side’s watch list. A combination of R2-D2 and C-3PO act as running back (takes the ball from the quarterback and runs forward). R2 provides the speed and low center of gravity, while Threepio is in charge of holding the ball.
Princess Leia and Queen Amidala will act as cornerbacks (defend against passes), Yoda will be kick returner, and Porkins will be a nose tackle (stops the run). Jar-Jar is deep safety.
Emperor Palpatine, due to his advanced age and our ban of force abilities, doesn’t have a whole lot going for him. However, his sharp mind and extensive planning practice makes him a perfect field commander, so we’re making him the QB for the dark side.
Wide receivers will be Boba and Jango Fett. Their jetpacks allow them extra speed — they agreed to only use short bursts, and will be monitored by umpires Qui-Gon Jinn and Greedo — and their quick reflexes make them good for avoiding tackles. Darth Vader will act as tight end, more so due to his size and strength than is ability to catch passes. General Grievous will be running back, thanks to his speed, strength, and powerful stiff-arming ability.
Asajj Ventress will be the kicker, Darth Maul will play as linebacker (who tries to sack the QB), and Jabba the Hutt is center (hikes the ball to QB), and Watto will be holder for extra point kicks and field goals.
The game was scheduled to be played at Alderaan, until the Dark side took care of that. Will the dark side have home field advantage or will their strong defense beat the light side’s blistering lightning blistering offense? Tell us how you think this Star Wars football game will end!