Star Wars Resolutions

Jabba doesn’t like it

It’s a new year, and, traditionally, the time to recognize a way to better yourself. This could be a dedication to giving money to charity, spending more time with your siblings, or learning to do the moonwalk. Today, we find out what certain characters would choose as their new resolutions:

The Prequels

Obi-Wan Kenobi: “Spend some time with Anakin. The boy seems troubled by something. He could use a stable relationship in his life. Though he does seem to be spending a lot of time with Senator Amidala…”

Mace Windu: “Find a way to combat my male-pattern baldness, or buy a nice hat.”

General Grievous: “Learn to fight with five lightsabers.”

Padme Amidala: “Figure out a way to talk to Anakin about my family without him feeling awkward.”

Yoda: “Find a retirement planet, I must.”

Jar-Jar: “Write home.”

C-3PO: “Install that new framework update that will keep my memory from being wiped, and upgrade my RAM. I should write this one down.”

Anakin Skywalker: “Work harder at keeping Obi-wan from discovering Padme and I are married.”

Original Trilogy

Luke Skywalker: “Build a backup lightsaber. Ooh! I wonder if I could do it with one hand?”

Princess Leia: “Get used to living on Hoth, I guess.”

Darth Vader: “Tell Luke I’m his father. I bet he’ll be excited.”

Lando Calrissian: “Hire a better Minister of Galactic Relations, I don’t want the empire breathing down my neck. Also gamble less.”

Emperor Palpatine: “Work on evil laugh. Practice speech. Right now it’s just ‘Something something something dark side, something something something the force.’”

Admiral Ackbar: “Figure out those Chinese Finger things.”

Han Solo: “Practice my dance moves.”

Chewbacca: “Learn Basic.”

We hope you’ve enjoyed this list of New Year’s Resolutions. Can you think of more? Comment with new versions or different characters!

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